sort of like Polar Express

There was an earth tremor this morning, it was slight but it’s amazing how much smaller your room or house becomes when it shakes, and nothing visible has caused the shaking of it. What amazed me even more is, with in the space of 15 minutes I wasn’t concerned at all about the tremor and went on with my schoolwork.

 We’ve had several days of snow the last two weeks and I’m ready for it to melt. I love the snow but after having to shovel your way out of two feet of it, it get’s very old. I live in an area where there are mostly row homes and there is no place to put it.

Piles and piles of snow everywhere! I couldn’t stack it up next to the sidewalk any more so I started throwing it onto the street.   My friend’s father died the other day, he was 94, he once told me “never get old there’s no future in it”. I laughed, now he’s dead and the world moves on, it always does, it did when my father died, and now my mother... I miss her already. I'll see her again, however between now and then the world will spin madly on.

 When you’re in a situation like that your life seems to get very small; sort of like the way I felt after the earth tremor and when there’s no place to put the snow.  BIG CIRCUMSTANCES, small life. When I feel like that I think a lot about God. Not religion, just God, I think he’s better than religion. I think  God is bigger than my tiny life, and because of that he’s bigger than the things I’m afraid of; earth quakes, death, and what ever else I can dream up.

  I remember how I felt when I returned to school to study film making, and how much bigger than me the journey looked. but I’d finely lived long enough to understand that the time was going to pass by and the world was going to move on weather I stood still, or went on the journey, so I got my ticket punched and here I am. I’m glad I got on the train, sort of like Polar Express.

 I was given enough faith to hear the bell in the beginning and I still hear it now, so I guess I’m in pretty good shape. There ‘s always risk in doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone, there’s always a chance that you’ll fail or thing’s won’t go quite right. But I’d rather know I gave something my best effort and fail than wonder what would have happened. I know my mom didn't have many questions at the end, she heard the bell and got on board... sort of like Polar Express.

my responsibility as an artist

To understand my responsibility as an artist, I need to look no further than my own conscience.  I believe the artist should first ask the question, who am I responsible for? The answer to that question, should then guide he or she in what they create. In my travels around the world, I have met skilled artist’s who’s only means to feed their family, is to paint or be creative in some other form. The question of what they should create is answered in their need, not the extension of a political agenda, or the whimsical pursuit of an ideal from a position of relative abundance. By asking, who am I responsible for? The artist can make a choice grounded in something more meaningful than a contemporary trend.   

Your own "personal" truth?

Self determined moral relativism is not truth, it's an aggressively projected opinion about what makes one feel good at particular time. A feeling changes from one day to the next, a truth will not change. I have heard the argument that each person has his or her own truth. Because you want a particular viewpoint to be true, does not make it fact or reality. To create your own reality, (truth) would mean your ideals would have to be a conscious / unconscious process that is inherent in the thinking of others on a daily basis through our their lives.

Assumptions about what God won't do

This is a prime example of how God surprises us and how He breaks down our assumptions. Drawn in by a mob mentality, I too was skeptical before this living parable unfolded before my ears and heart. This moved me, it was God surprising us all!

Forgiveness 70 X 7

We make forgiveness complicated. I am, and have been guilty of this and when I embrace the simplicity of what it means to be forgiven I am always amazed by the reality of how far reaching it is in my life.

"God forgive me a sinner"

This simple statement, when spoken from the heart, rings so loud in eternity that if it were audible, the sound would deafen the world.

Forgiveness can be a process, it can take time to completely forgive someone for an offence. The key to getting free from carrying a grudge and reliving the events that have caused bitterness and stagnation in your faith walk is to continually allow God to work in this area of your life. It sounds simple because it is. Some people don't want to forgive. I have experienced this issue in my own life and in the middle of it God showed me that some times forgiveness happens in steps.

When issues like this come up in my daily thought life I give it to God (it doesn't have to feel all warm and fuzzy). And I keep doing so until that issue doesn't surface any more. When you do this your giving God access to your heart and the freedom to change your mind and free you up from oppressive garbage that may be dogging you in your waking hours. Un-forgiveness steals sleep and causes stress. It's distracting and destructive.

A pastor friend of mine counseled a woman who had been in and out of mental institutions for quite some time. She would shake uncontrollably and display emotional anguish that required heavy doses of medication to calm her down or enable her to sleep. They were about to commit this pour woman to a mental facility for permanent mental care. As my friend counseled her he realized she had been traumatized as a little girl. The long and short of it is she began forgiving the adults that had abused her. All the symptoms I mentioned above ceased. She was released a month later and never returned to the hospital.

See Mathew 18:22

What do you look like?

Are you unkempt, so depressed that when you get dressed in the morning it’s all you can do to “put on your cleanest dirty shirt”?(that’s a Johnny Cash) line. I like Johnny Cash because he didn’t hide his struggles and God loved him that way. Something I have been thinking about lately is the bride of Christ. I realized that when I think about the Bride of Christ I used to think only about the “church”. But I think God gave me some insight about what His bride looks like.

It’s not just the pretty people that go to church and smile and say the right things. I tried to be a good looking Christian, it worked for a while but I couldn't’t keep from being who I really am. Who am I? Consider your own failings ALL OF THEM, in some ways I’m probably a lot like you. Some one else I think most of us resemble. That guy on the cross next to Jesus. About to die, guilty and with no way out. I hardly ever hear about this guy.

Lets call him Bill. Bill probably spent most of his life hearing the Jewish law feeling guilty because he couldn’t live up to all six hundred of them. I’m guessing Bill’s up bringing wasn’t very religious. Or lets say that Bill came from a good home but fell in love with a Samaritan girl, they got married by a soothe seer because non of the Rabbis would do the ceremony, be-cause, it was against Jewish law to mix with Samaritans. Sooo Bill and his Samaritan bride were shunt from Jewish society. Where do they go now?

They can’t go to Samaria; the Samaritans hate the Jews as much as the Jews hated the Samaritans! Bill and his Samaritan bride fell on hard times. So in order to get food to eat or something to sell to get money for food, Bill started stealing. This worked for a while but then Bill’s wife got pregnant. Now they needed extra care and money! So Bill became desperate and took bigger risk’s and became careless in his thievery and got caught. He tried to steal a horse, a capital crime punishable by death. As Bill’s helpless pregnant wife looked on he was tried and found guilty. Whipped and nailed to a cross. There were two other guys next to him. One who just kept running his mouth about his innocence. Bill knew him, they “worked” together a couple of times. The other guy didn’t say much. Bill’s head throbbed, his body was racked with pain, he was thirsty.

He thought of his guilt, the position he placed his innocent wife and their unborn child in. He thought about the guy next to him, he’d seen this guy around. Heard him teaching, saw him feed people. He knew his name, Jesus, he’d been tried and beaten Just before his own case came up. I can’t believe he’s still alive he thought to himself. How could anyone survive what this Jesus had just been through? As this thought meandered through Bill’s guilt ridden conscience the silence was broken.

Bill’s “friend” started insulting him (Jesus), "You are the Messiah, aren't you? Save yourself and us!" Bill had enough, gripped with the terror of facing his own death and remembering how his wife had begged him “to listen to the prophet” he spoke up.

Luke 23:40 NIV
“We have been condemned justly, because we are getting what we deserve for what we have done, but this man has done nothing wrong”. Bill’s heart began to pound in his chest”. Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom!". Jesus raised his head and turned in Bill’s direction. Bill began sobbing uncontrollably. He realized who was about to speak to him. "I promise you, today you will be with me in Paradise."

How many “loser” druggies, pimps whores, God haters, murderers, just go down the list! Have in their dying moments through the mercy and grace of God realized what there destiny was and cried out in a desperate attempt for rescue “JESUS SAVE ME!”.

This is what His Bride looks like; those that never served Him a day in their life but were rescued moments before they left this life forever. They never got baptized, they never professed their faith publicly. They looked nothing like the Pharisaical (legalistic Christian) mindset or modern day Pharisee says they should look like. It also includes all the John and Jane Does that know Jesus but decided to impress men with “all they could do” for God. It includes those that were called and waited for God to reveal His direction. His Bride includes those that don't look like us, those we disagree with. Those that come from situations you and I wouldn't live in for any amount of money and probably wouldn't visit if we were asked to!

The LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:17

self righteousness

We all have a mask. Some of us pretend to be transparent only to grow bitter in the secret frustration of our self righteousness. What object or person will we clothe in scorn to justify our un-forgiveness.