There was an earth tremor this morning, it was slight but it’s amazing how much smaller your room or house becomes when it shakes, and nothing visible has caused the shaking of it. What amazed me even more is, with in the space of 15 minutes I wasn’t concerned at all about the tremor and went on with my schoolwork.
We’ve had several days of snow the last two weeks and I’m ready for it to melt. I love the snow but after having to shovel your way out of two feet of it, it get’s very old. I live in an area where there are mostly row homes and there is no place to put it.
Piles and piles of snow everywhere! I couldn’t stack it up next to the sidewalk any more so I started throwing it onto the street. My friend’s father died the other day, he was 94, he once told me “never get old there’s no future in it”. I laughed, now he’s dead and the world moves on, it always does, it did when my father died, and now my mother... I miss her already. I'll see her again, however between now and then the world will spin madly on.
When you’re in a situation like that your life seems to get very small; sort of like the way I felt after the earth tremor and when there’s no place to put the snow. BIG CIRCUMSTANCES, small life. When I feel like that I think a lot about God. Not religion, just God, I think he’s better than religion. I think God is bigger than my tiny life, and because of that he’s bigger than the things I’m afraid of; earth quakes, death, and what ever else I can dream up.
I remember how I felt when I returned to school to study film making, and how much bigger than me the journey looked. but I’d finely lived long enough to understand that the time was going to pass by and the world was going to move on weather I stood still, or went on the journey, so I got my ticket punched and here I am. I’m glad I got on the train, sort of like Polar Express.
I was given enough faith to hear the bell in the beginning and I still hear it now, so I guess I’m in pretty good shape. There ‘s always risk in doing something that takes you out of your comfort zone, there’s always a chance that you’ll fail or thing’s won’t go quite right. But I’d rather know I gave something my best effort and fail than wonder what would have happened. I know my mom didn't have many questions at the end, she heard the bell and got on board... sort of like Polar Express.
