MY GOD, MY GOD WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?
How many times have you felt like this? How many times have you screamed this in the privacy of your spirit, beneath your public façade? When the chaos in your soul feels more like madness than just the symptoms of a bad day. Then you scream, GOD I NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU RIGHT NOW!...
Nothing, you hear nothing. If you love me why aren’t you talking to me? Maybe you’re in a place where you can scream out loud, so… you do!
IF YOU LOVE ME WHY AREN’T YOU ANSWERING ME!!!!!!
I have learned that it is in these moments that I rarely hear anything from God. Instead He offers me His peace. I can choose to keep bouncing off the walls and sometimes that’s what I do because I’m not getting what I want. But Jesus is teaching me that if I go for the peace, if I choose to allow Him to calm me down, I get the answer. Its usually not the answer I thought I wanted or the thing I wanted etc. But what I hear more times than not is;
“This is not worth getting all worked up about” i.e. “peace be still and know that I am God.”
Peace be still and know that I am God?
How many times have you and I heard this? Enough to make us want to throw up, right? You can be honest, admit it! Your sick and tired of hearing all the clichés and platitudes about how we should feel and what we should say, how we should be afraid of God and grovel in our misery because that’s what Jesus would do and BLA, BLA, BLA!
WRONG ANSWER!!
The bible says:
16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.
Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
Do you know what confidence means in this context?
Confidence
noun
1 Trust, belief, faith, conviction.
2 Courage, boldness, mettle, nerve.
3 Intimacy.
In other words go ahead and let’er rip! Make your feelings known to God. He can take it! The Psalms are full of David’s ranting and self pity, his never ending why me prayers. But the interesting thing about the Psalms, they always end in peace. Why is that? From my own experience, its because I have opened a dialog or conversation with God. And that gives Him the opportunity to intervene in my emotional chaos. I may not get what I thought I wanted but I do have peace. And I’m thinking more clearly than I was when I started yelling at God.
Steven Adams © 2008
Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)
Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society
[NIV at IBS] [International Bible Society] [NIV at Zondervan] [Zondervan]
Friday, March 21, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Time Travel
I used to work for a company called Ensoniq. We made synthesizers, audio samplers, electric pianos and computer sound cards (Sound-Scape). I worked for them for six years, at the end of which I found myself out of a job. The company was “reorganizing”. During my time there I worked mainly in customer service but did some beta testing on the side for extra money. Beta testing is making sure the prototype of a product does what it’s designed to do.
So after finding out I was no longer gainfully employed I went to the head of the beta testing team and asked if I could test the new product they were working on as a freelancer. When he said yes I was overjoyed and it was understood I would start the following day. Morning came and as I had done for the last six years I got in my car and went to “work”. Nothing seemed out of place until I entered the building.
I went to the area where I was to begin testing and started the routine. I thought that once I started the job, I would settle in and feel right at home. But this was different, it wasn’t the same. People that were still there, people I had worked with for the last six years treated me differently. It’s like I was a stranger!
It seemed as though the relationships I enjoyed for almost a decade, no longer existed! One of the guys I had worked with for most of my time there casually greeted me as he walked through the room, “Hey Steve, what are you doing here?” His question startled me. It reminded me of this movie I saw where this guy went back in time, I don’t remember the title of the movie or the characters name so I’ll call him Charlie.
All his friends were glad to see him, but one of them said “Charlie it’s really good to see you! But what are you doing here?” Charlie was confused by the question. “I’m hang-en out with you guys!, You know, hang-en out together, like we’ve always done! Was Charlie’s reply. “No Charlie”, said his friend, “you don’t belong here any more. Your time here is over, you have to move on”.
As the movie scene in my head faded, I sat there alone in the test room, and realized that Charlie and I had a lot in common. I got the feeling that if you could really travel back in time, this is how it would be. Everything would have a familiarity about it, but it would be empty because that situation or time had fulfilled it’s purpose in your life.
God really spoke to me through this “science fiction” encounter. I wasn’t supposed to be there any more! And my efforts to stay in a situation where God’s provision had dried up would only cause me confusion, financial agony and delay what God wanted to do next in my life.
What happened next?
My unemployment check was very sufficient to live on, I started a band (Mercy Street) and recorded an album, made CD’s and sold most of them.
A local chain of bookstores stocked them and several local radio stations played our music. And the icing on the cake, I met my wife at one of the concerts we did! Mercy Street played together for three years and was a blessing to the members as well as those who bought our CDs and came to our concerts.
When I lost my job God was blessing me! It just didn’t look like it at first.
Let God move your life on. When He shows you that He is closing a door don’t try to keep it open.
Behold, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19 (Niv)
© 2008 Steven Adams
So after finding out I was no longer gainfully employed I went to the head of the beta testing team and asked if I could test the new product they were working on as a freelancer. When he said yes I was overjoyed and it was understood I would start the following day. Morning came and as I had done for the last six years I got in my car and went to “work”. Nothing seemed out of place until I entered the building.
I went to the area where I was to begin testing and started the routine. I thought that once I started the job, I would settle in and feel right at home. But this was different, it wasn’t the same. People that were still there, people I had worked with for the last six years treated me differently. It’s like I was a stranger!
It seemed as though the relationships I enjoyed for almost a decade, no longer existed! One of the guys I had worked with for most of my time there casually greeted me as he walked through the room, “Hey Steve, what are you doing here?” His question startled me. It reminded me of this movie I saw where this guy went back in time, I don’t remember the title of the movie or the characters name so I’ll call him Charlie.
All his friends were glad to see him, but one of them said “Charlie it’s really good to see you! But what are you doing here?” Charlie was confused by the question. “I’m hang-en out with you guys!, You know, hang-en out together, like we’ve always done! Was Charlie’s reply. “No Charlie”, said his friend, “you don’t belong here any more. Your time here is over, you have to move on”.
As the movie scene in my head faded, I sat there alone in the test room, and realized that Charlie and I had a lot in common. I got the feeling that if you could really travel back in time, this is how it would be. Everything would have a familiarity about it, but it would be empty because that situation or time had fulfilled it’s purpose in your life.
God really spoke to me through this “science fiction” encounter. I wasn’t supposed to be there any more! And my efforts to stay in a situation where God’s provision had dried up would only cause me confusion, financial agony and delay what God wanted to do next in my life.
What happened next?
My unemployment check was very sufficient to live on, I started a band (Mercy Street) and recorded an album, made CD’s and sold most of them.
A local chain of bookstores stocked them and several local radio stations played our music. And the icing on the cake, I met my wife at one of the concerts we did! Mercy Street played together for three years and was a blessing to the members as well as those who bought our CDs and came to our concerts.
When I lost my job God was blessing me! It just didn’t look like it at first.
Let God move your life on. When He shows you that He is closing a door don’t try to keep it open.
Behold, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19 (Niv)
© 2008 Steven Adams
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